I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
