I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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