I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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