Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
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Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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