I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
