I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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