whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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