Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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