that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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