This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
