and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
