i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
