The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
