We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
