I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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