Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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