What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
