addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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