I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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