Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
