Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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