I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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