tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
