not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
