Having a random hookup so left but love u
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
