dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
