my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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