She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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