is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
