he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
