I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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