I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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