one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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