i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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