I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
