wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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