Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Everclear isn't food dammit
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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