Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
