Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
