I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
