I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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