Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
