its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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