White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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