Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
