3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize