I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
