i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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