the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
