You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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