it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection