Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter