Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!