I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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