Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
