Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just googled if crying burns calories
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
