The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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