hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
