did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
