Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
