And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
