I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
