i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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