ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
