sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
