Your dad touched me again.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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